Monday, August 31, 2009

Towards a drug free porn industry

Picky Eater: "If I were any harder at work I'd be a porn star." - Twitter status message of the day. You can stick that on your cublicle - courtesy of @zeldman
Kania Tiko: how hard do porn stars work?
PE: I guess it depends on their sex(es)
And how you define work
And how you define hard
KT: someone was crapping on about this the other day, about the old porn and the new porn.
In the old porn you kept on seeing the same male actors in film after film, whereas today, there are a lot more men in the jiz biz. Apparently the reason is back in the day there were only a handful of guys that could relied upon to produce "wood on demand" so to speak.
Now you just take a pill and anyone can be in porn
PE: Drugs
Where would we be without drugs
KT: that's why there used to be all these ugly guys in porn, like that Ron Jeremy dude.
Good looks weren't part of the core skillset, but now in modern porn all the men are now chiselled and shit.
Now i don't know how much of this is true, but I read about it on the internet, so it must be true.
PE: What this needs is an Olympics - A world-wide, drug-free spectacle every few years where people win based on talent, performance and highly trained ability

Monday, June 15, 2009

You don't know Dick

Picky Eater: http://www.underconsideration.com/brandnew/archives/you_dont_know_dick.php
Awesome headline
Article may or may not interest you
Kania Tiko: thank god they got rid of that pricks ugly mug
PE: The new id certainly doesn't try very hard to be unique
As ugly as the old logo was, it was right up there with Maccers as "instantly identifiable"
KT: well take a pic of his nutsack then
that'll be unique
PE: Just looking at the psychobabble the agency wrote up for the new logo ... imagining what they would have written for the nutsack redesign
KT: "a new generation"
because that is where the new generation comes from
PE: "Our new branding invites customers to come talk to us - after all we've been fucking with your technology for 40 years. We are solution providers and we are about humanizing technology and making the category intimate not daunting -- that's why we've changed our logo to "Bollocks", to help us identify with your reaction to our fucked up technology
KT: intimate ay?
can't be intimate than that

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Kania Tiko: Morons! Everyone txting to this 'support the boys' shit [on Fiji TV during the Scotland Sevens tournament]
Someone should collect their names and sterilise them all
Picky Eater: Don't spoil boy! The boys can see the thing on the field! :-P
KT: "The boys" WILL NEVER FUCKING READ IT! EVER!
I have no beef with Fiji One or the mobile operators. They are business, and if the punters are fuckwits, then they have a duty to relieve them of their money.
I just think that a quick bit of eugenics would be good.
A wee culling of the herd
We doonae huv tae kill onie one
Jist a wee snip aroond the bawbag

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Domain hacks for LiS

Picky Eater: lunch.in is bugging me
Kania Tiko: we need to get the Vatican to let us register lunchinsu.va
PE: That might work ... but I still like the lunch.in/suva
It's got potential to become a food blogging hub
I'm just going to place a watch on the site
They've had it since 2005 and haven't done anything
Approaching them directly would probably just invite extortion
It's just so obvious: http://lunch.in/brisbane
http://lunch.in/nyc
KT: we could do a whole series
http://sodomy.in/sydney
PE: Holy shit ... sodomy.in has already been registered by a Larry Moss in Montreal

Monday, May 25, 2009

Sharia, Spam and Nigerian 419ers

Kania Tiko: The Times of Nigeria: Nigeria Has No Apology For 419 Victims
Picky Eater: Well said!
KT: Well, I half agree with him. Fuck the people who send money, but what about the rest of us drowning in your SPAM?
PE: That's hardly Nigeria's fault. The email infrastructure certainly ain't in their sovereign territory
KT: No, but the fat cunt on the computer is. Surely they can shoot a few of the bastards.
PE: So you want Nigeria to implement international treaties that allow for the prosecution of spammers?
KT: Nah! Just bust down doors and fuck people up in the northern states with sharia law ... cut off some fingers and shit.
PE: Sure ... you organise that while I find the Nobel Peace Prize nomination forms for you.

Fixing the IRB series

KT: It's a tough tournament [the London Sevens] for many. Long gap between 3rd and 4th leg. Series pretty much won. I'm sure it's the longest gap. Just check that if you are on your computer
PE: 6 week gap. 5 week gap between US and Hong Kong
KT: Really? Feels longer
PE: It's the media warm up, cool down cycle
KT: I think a 5 tournament series, that ends in HK would be better. The last tournament worth more points. Hong Kong is a 30-pointer
PE: That'd make it less predictable
KT: More teams would be in the running in the last week. As it is now, this leg is dead.
PE: I think we still need a tournament in Europe though.
KT: Ok. Let's redo the series
Dubai can fuck off as their economy is rooted
PE: Agreed, they offer no rabid fans or atmosphere either
KT: George we keep
Adelaide can fuck off too
Scotland and England alternate each year
So: George, Europe, USA, NZ, HK
PE: Which is the standalone? HK?
ZA-EU leg, US-NZ leg
KT: Nah! Fuck the legs! One tournament every fortnight.
We're done in two months
PE: Gee! That could be hard on the team selection. You'd need to have a pool of reserves picked at the beginning of the series and swap people on the road
KT: Well, we aren't on the road. We play and go home
But if you insist on legs, we can have legs ... Just less of a gap between them
PE: 2 legs, each tournament at adjacent weekends. 3 week gap between legs
KT: Cool, I can live with that
PE: Insert risque joke about spreading those legs?
KT: Cool, go ahead and make this a post: "Fixing the IRB series"
PE: Nice innuendo in the title

They just want me to watch

Picky Eater: Wow! Britney Fuck Vids just started following me on Twitter
Kania Tiko: Maybe they want you to act in one
PE: I think they just want me to watch
KT: That's a pity
Who says porn exploits women? That's bullshit
Porn exploits men: them's the only motherfrakkers paying

Powerful Content Fu

Picky Eater: I was thinking that Outtakes should have 2-part titles
Like Slashdot e.g. City of Vancouver adopts Open Standards from the asleep-at-the-switch-in-redmond dept
Or perhaps more like The Register
Kania Tiko: Fuck! Sounds like too much work
PE: Perhaps for the proper blog ... I've been pondering for some time on the unity of post and tweet.
Thought it might be clever to write the tweet for LiS as part of the post ... Title, 100 char teaser that gets tweeted & is used on the home/index pages, body of post
KT: Yes, that would be powerful Content Fu
Straight from the Shaolin temple

Introducing "Diablogical LiS Outtakes"

Picky Eater: I've been going over the chat logs (as I occasionally do) and there have been quite a few instances where you'll say something like "put that on your blog" when we've had an epiphany or a good discussion ... and I don't for whatever reason
I think we need a group "Fiji" blog: a generic sort of place we can dump our discussions
I can't find any theme to the stuff we say we should blog except that we live in Fiji
Kania Tiko: Oh fuck no! Not another Failed Paradise
PE: No way!
KT: Why not just pure chat transcripts? Only edit for grammar and spelling ... and linking
PE: I like that idea. Think of a name that plays on 'conversations'
KT: LiS outtakes
Many hours later...
KT: Diablogical LiS Outtakes
PE: We have 2 options
1. you can set up the blogger account (might as well be you 'cos you've got the AdSense account)
2. wait a few weeks and we can give it a home at http://lunchinsuva.org/outtakes
KT: Fuck it
1. takes 2 seconds
2. can just import all the stuff from 1 when its ready
PE: Set! Do it -- Diablogical LiS Outtakes
url: lisouttakes?
KT: Yeah. I might stick a dash in there though
PE: Won't allow. I checked to see if it was available
KT: Looks ok to me.
Oh! I probably clicked create before you clicked check
PE: Excellent!
And for a strapline, I suggest: "Inane conversation about anything but the food in Suva"